The screenshots show some of the new screensavers, a nice media browser, Bluetooth controls, parental controls and a whole slew of terminal options. Looking pretty good, so far. We’ll just have to wait and see what else Leopard has to offer in the final release.

1: The Scroll Bar

Support: Hello
User: Hi , Im having a problem with my emails
Support: Ok can you describe the problem please ?
User: I cant view the whole letter , it wont let me scroll down
Support: Is the window full screen ?
User: Yes
Support: (Scratches head) .. But you can see the scroll bar yes ? Is it greyed out ?
User: Yes it is ..
Support: And if you hit “Page Down” ?
User: Still nothing
Support: ……. What is actually written in the email ?
User: “Thank you for registering with ** please click the following link to read the terms and agreements” … Everytime I click I get an annoying pop up. Dont we have pop up blockers for that ?
Support: Its a 1 line email .. You cant scroll because there’s nothing to scroll too . Stop closing the popup and read it. idiot.

2: The Power Conservationist

Support: Hello ?
User: Hi IT , I need your help ..My PC Is dead.
Support: Can you define dead please ?
User: When I power my PC on, nothing appears on the screen. Just black
Support: Hmm .. But the lights are on , on the PC ?
User: Sure are …
Support: So if you power it off, then power it back on, nothing happens .. Just a black screen when it powers on.
User: That’s right
Support: Has the machine been knocked ? or bumped, has there been a blackout recently ? Power surges ? Is there any reason you can think of that might of caused the power supply to die, or the mainboard ?.
User: No not really.
Support: Hmm ok .. Well there isn’t much you can do about it from there, ill need you to send just the PC back to me so I can repair it , in the mean time ill send you out another PC you can use.. Can you please read me the model number printed on your PC there ?
User: Sure thing ..Its a “Mitsubishi Diamond View 19 —….”
Support: Wait wait … Are you turning on your PC or your monitor ?
User: My computer …
Support: …………… The big square one you look at ? …. Or the little black one next to it …
User: The big square one
Support: …….. Try the little black one
User: ….pauses … Oh awesome , thanks for that !

3: The Login Loser

User: Hi IT , iv got a problem reading my emails.
Support: How do you mean ?
User: I couldn’t access them last Thursday.
Support: ….Ok so you mean it just wouldn’t let you log in ?
User: Yes ..
Support: Ok , you’ve probably locked your account, you have 3 attempts before it will lock its self.
User: Yes I know.
Support: Ok ill check your account…….. pause .. I can see your logged into your emails now ?
User: Yes I know
Support: So ….. whats the problem ?
User: I couldn’t log in.
Support: But you did this morning fine.
User: Yes
Support: ……. Ahh … So what do you want me to check ?
User: So emails are working fine then ?
Support: Well have you been emailing fine today.
User: Yes.
Support: ??? ….. Well then yes they are.
User: Thanks
Support: ….. Um no worries.

4: The Temp Dir

User: Hi IT , I need your help ! All my files keep disappearing !
Support: Really ? .. Explain what you mean.
User: Well , iv been working all week, day and night on these files which iv been saving, and which I can see in word , but then each time I turn my computer on in the morning , their all gone !
Support: Gone ?? .. Can you search for them ?
User: No ! Gone completely ! Iv lost heaps !
Support: Is your virus scanner running ?
User: Yes ! I even run those spyware cleaning programs you advised us about.
Support: That’s good, have you run them recently ?
User: Yes ! it was all clear
Support: Ok , well , can you please save another file and restart your PC for me. Tell me exactly what you see when you start up.
User: Ok .. doing it now.. PC Restarts Ok Windows is open and now a box just flicked up that says “Temp Cleaner” , now its gone , now Outlook is open.
Support: Temp cleaner did you say ???
User: Yes
Support: Did you install that ?
User: Yes .. My friend recommended it. Apparently it clears out junk automatically for me.
Support: Hmmm , where are you saving the files ?
User: In Word ..
Support: Yes but what directory
User: ?? Huh ? I save them IN WORD !
Support: Word in an Application , its not a location or a folder, when your saving , your selecting a folder to save your files to .. What is that folder ?
User: Um .. I don’t know
Support: In Word click File > Save As as tell me what it says in the drop down box
User: It says TEMP , Under C Drive….


And My Personal Favourite. .


5: Email Suicide

User: IT ! I need help ! I was deleting emails and somehow managed to delete my entire inbox , there was thousands of emails in there !
Support: When you selected your entire inbox , then clicked delete , you would have received 2 separate pop up windows asking for your confirmation to delete your inbox. Did you click YES ?
User: Yes I did! Can you help ?
Support: No ….

1. When someone complains about how slow their car is, you out of habbit ask “How much RAM does it have? “

2. You make jokes with your friends about the blonde girl in the corner and how you’d definatly DIGG her.

3. A nice relaxing night at home involves a tense, fast paced shootout between you and some guy from Korea welding Desert Eagles and combat knives.

4. When asked what colour your car is, you respond with “Oh its #ff0000 . . “

5. When someone tells you they got a root on the weekend, you ask which exploit and service they used.

6. You ask someone for their IP address at a bar ….. But actually want their phone number.

7. You call postal codes subnets.

8. When someone refers to their house as their “domain” you compare it to your website.

9. You cant seem to shut up during a movie that depicts a hacker or a cracker at work, showing some 3D Graphical interface flying through data and passwords like a space ship.

10. Sunlight has a similar effect on you as it does to vampires.

11. You spend $500 to gain 5 FPS.

12. You will spend weeks trying to convert a $ into a #

13. Your fat , slow and have the strength of 3 stoned mice, but you’re brute force skills are renowned.

14. The computer security measures you have at home to protect your porn would put a military base to shame.

15. You run linux on any device other than a computer.

16. Your parents check you into rehab because they overheard you bragging about your SQL Injection Techniques.

17. You wish you could photoshop your head for real.

18. You hear birds chirping out side and think that it needs a slight 12KHz cut

19. You chat to people on MSN … From the room next door.

20. You wish you could write a batch file to make you breakfast.

So blogging seems to be the “in” thing now days .. Everyone has one , so why shouldnt I ? .. Probably because I dont have time for it .. But what the hell , lets give it a go . So here we go , welcome to Cheyne’s Blog !