Dear FireFox, Call Me When You’re Sober

Dear FireFox,

I wish I could say this to you in person although I fear that I may not be able to go through with it.

You’ve been my rock for so many years and you held my hand while I was weaning off Internet Explorer, and I thank you for that, but you’ve changed.

I remember the slim and slender FireFox 2, turning heads where ever you showed up, people talked about you everywhere, but ever since 3.0, you’ve let your self go, maybe it was the constant feeling of acceptance that allowed you to lower your guard, but when I use you now I have memories of less favorable times, I hate to compare you against the likes of Internet Explorer, but you leave me no choice.

I see you consuming upwards of 180 Megabytes in a standard session, becoming bloated with a seemingly endless hunger for physical memory, I bite my lip and say nothing but I fear one day you’ll gorge your self so much you’ll stoop to memory paging

You used to be so nimble that when I asked you to start, you were up and running, ready to help at a moments notice, but now it seems as though you’ve got better things to do, loading up with memory before iv even told you what id like to do.

I can look past these, and I have for a while now, but there is one thing about you now that I simply can not…. and that’s the crashing.

Since 3.5 you’ve crashed on a regular basis, doing so after a lengthy period of hanging leaving me frustrated and worried that ill loose my work, I expect that type of behavior from Internet Explorer, FireFox but not you, you were better than that, we used to hold hands and laugh at the IE users, now I feel like I’m one of them again.

…….. I have a confession, your not going to like it but I need to say it…. Iv been seeing someone else, someone younger and slender, she’s fast, and light. She doesn’t have as many features as you but she does what I ask, when I ask, and quickly.

Its not love, more like a fling but never the less she’s showing me the things iv been missing from you, she reminds me of you in your earlier days, less caught up in the politics of the world wide web and more interested in user experience.

Her name is Chrome ….

She’s a pretty young thing, not as smart as you, not as secure as you, and much less features than you but she’s a lot of fun to be around…..Best of all , she doesn’t crash

Sure, I still need you, I cant get by without Firebug, but in terms of a regular relationship, I need you to clean your self up before I come back, I need you to realize what your throwing away and that your only doing your self and your reputation damage.

FireFox, I still love you, but for now I need space ..

Call me when your sober.

Xox – Cheyne Wallace